These are my random musings. Hopefully they will be witty, insightful, and frequently updated.
singrdave's Articles In Humor
May 10, 2010 by singrdave
  Just wondering if you see a resemblance...
August 8, 2007 by singrdave
Things never to say to a pregnant woman: 1. "Hey there, big mama!" 2. "My gosh, you're enormous! Are you sure you're not having twins?" 3. "Well, looks like the boob fairy has visited you!" 4. "Should you really be eating that?" 5. "You shouldn't be feeling so cranky/tired/uncomfortable. You're not THAT pregnant yet." 6. "Are you still with the father?" 7. "Is this your last? Are you getting spayed after this?" 8. "Wow, that really is an outie!" 9. (Males only) "Yea...
June 8, 2007 by singrdave
My recent job change has also lengthened my commute time... and also changed my waking time every morning. Got me thinking about sleep, and I discovered this article from a sleep research project sponsored by the Australian Broadcasting Corporation: 40 FACTS ABOUT SLEEP YOU PROBABLY DIDN'T KNOW... (OR WERE TOO TIRED TO THINK ABOUT) -The record for the longest period without sleep is 18 days, 21 hours, 40 minutes during a rocking chair marathon. The record holder reported hallucinations, p...
May 21, 2006 by singrdave
From the EcoEnquirer.com: (EXCLUSIVE - Washington, D.C.) Photographic evidence leaked to ecoEnquirer shows what are claimed to be Texas Air National Guard jets flying in formation in and around the eyewall of Hurricane Katrina twenty-four hours before it devastated New Orleans. The photograph was e-mailed to us by a National Security Agency employee who provided the information on condition of anonymity. The employee's e-mail contained a claim that one of the nation's spy satellites wa...
May 7, 2006 by singrdave
Three strangers at the Great Falls airport are awaiting their flights: One is a Native American on his way to Helena for a statewide Indian Pow-Wow. Another a ranch hand on his way to Billings for a stock show. The third passenger is a fundamentalist Arab student, newly arrived, and on his way to study engineering at Montana Tech. To pass the time they strike up a conversation on recent events, and the discussion drifts to their diverse cultures. Soon the westerners learn that the A...
February 17, 2006 by singrdave
And here's a link to a site where you can create your own news article where Dick Cheney hunts and shoots you, your loved ones, or your spouse. Or the Flaming Monster Gamera from Godzilla, for all you know... Dick Cheney Hunting Accident
January 25, 2006 by singrdave
You might get a kick out of this. Hopefully no one has posted it before. I've seen it happen before, and it's not pretty. The Movie Of Your Life Is A Cult Classic Quirky, offbeat, and even a little campy - your life appeals to a select few. But if someone's obsessed with you, look out! Your fans are downright freaky. Your best movie matches: Office Space, Showgirls, The Big Lebowski If Your Life Was a Movie, What Genre Would It Be?
January 23, 2006 by singrdave
Here are 72 questions from the boy who wants to be a suicide bomber. Just ask these questions to the perverted bacterial Mullah who told these young, uneducated boys to die for Allah. ... 1) What if the bomber wants girls with more experience? 2) What if one virgin is no good in bed? Does she get replaced or is he stuck with 71? 3) If he's gay, does he get male virgins? 4) What if he's celibate? What does he get? 5) What if he hasn't reached puberty yet? Does he get 72 X-boxes...
January 22, 2006 by singrdave
Comparison of life in 1976 vs. 2006 1976: Long hair 2006: Longing for hair 1976: KEG 2006: EKG 1976: Acid rock 2006: Acid reflux 1976: Moving to California because it's cool 2006: Moving to Arizona because it's warm 1976: Tryin to look like Marlon Brando or Liz Taylor 2006: Trying NOT to look like Marlon Brando or Liz Taylor 1976: Seeds and stems 2006: Roughage 1976: Hoping for a BMW 2006: Hoping for a BM 1976: Going to a new, hip joint 2006: Receiving a new hip j...
January 20, 2006 by singrdave
Real personal ad: (honest!) "Among my interests are music and tanning..." State the obvious, why dontcha? Is this girl well? Does she need to sit down?
January 10, 2006 by singrdave
I know she is a woman and pregnant, but this takes balls... From today's Arizona Republic: A pregnant Ahwatukee Foothills resident ticketed for driving in a carpool lane is scheduled to appear in court Tuesday to argue that her unborn child counted as a passenger. Candace Dickinson, 23, hopes to overturn her penalty and prove her point that even though her child was still in the womb while she was driving on Interstate 10 on Nov. 8 in Ahwatukee Foothills, there still was a second person....
January 8, 2006 by singrdave
Have you read the life journal of this man? Apparently he's got his own blog now, along with Venom, Spiderman, Beast, and my favorite, the Incredible Hulk. Too funny, especially in the middle of the night. It's 12:15 AM... anything is funny about this time of night.
January 2, 2006 by singrdave
SURREAL - One part opiate of the masses, 13 parts overuse. Oddly, news anchor and television small talk is becoming more surreal. HUNKER DOWN - To brace oneself, in anticipation of media onslaught. Trotted out in reports about everything from politics to hurricanes. I have a hankering to ban all of this hunkering. PERSON OF INTEREST - Found within the context of legal commentary, but seldom encountered at cocktail parties. Pardon me, but people with guns want to talk with you. COMM...
December 15, 2005 by singrdave
From The Onion, America's Finest News Source: WASHINGTON, DC: ”In a sudden and unexpected blow to the Americans working to protect the holiday, liberal U.S. 9th Circuit Court of Appeals Judge Stephen Reinhardt ruled the private celebration of Christmas unconstitutional Monday. "In accordance with my activist agenda to secularize the nation, this court finds Christmas to be unlawful," Judge Reinhardt said. "The celebration of the birth of the philosopher Jesus", be it in the form of gift-gi...
December 12, 2005 by singrdave
Okay, excellent time-waster here. Smack the Pingu! Cute graphics, great game! A yeti hitting a falling penguin for distance, baseball style. I can't seem to get the image to save into my computer and so you'll have to trust me on this. Our top score is 537.4 -- good luck!