I think the thing that irked us the most about his attitude was that it was more embarrassing for him to ask to go to the bathroom than to pee his pants.

It's not unusual for a 7 year old to be too busy, distracted or shy to use the bathroom. You might try getting him a watch to wear during the day that has a alarm go off every hour to remind him to use the bathroom. If he is too shy to ask to go to the bathroom you may want to have a "code word" he says or you ask that means he needs to go. It may also be helpful to have a "plan" and discuss where there are bathrooms and who to ask for help.

I think "threatening" to use Pull-Ups sends the wrong message. Certainly causing more tensions won't help, not that being in soiled clothing among his peers is not anymore embarassing. Pull-Ups are more of a tool to help out. Our son does wet the bed so we do use cloth type pull-ups at night. He does wear them during the day but only when he is having a lot of accidents or in place where he has had problems before.

It's not unusual for a 7 year old to be too busy, distracted or shy to use the bathroom.

Yes, that actually seems to be the problem. He's gone more than two weeks now without an incident, and that was from

I think "threatening" to use Pull-Ups sends the wrong message. Certainly causing more tensions won't help

I want to make it clear: I am not confrontational when it comes to parenting. I spank my kids but it takes a LOT for me to do so. When I threatened my son with Pull-Ups, it was because he felt his wetness was okay and acceptable. As long as no one saw it, he thought it was all right to let himself pee his pants. With that attitude, I needed to emphasize with him that if he didn't change his behavior that Pull-Ups were the next step. I certainly wasn't going to let him know that it was okay.

Thankfully, we have not had any problems for the past two weeks now. My wife and I are very happy, and he is very proud of himself. I emphasized with him that he should let this good behavior continue, and that he needs to be less shy about asking to go to the bathroom at school, church, etc., when parents aren't around.

I signed up for this site just for this posting. I can completely relate to everything singrdave said. I have a seven-year-old boy with the same problem, except day and night and sometimes he will go through several pants a day! I am completely at my wits end and don't know what to do about it. He has had this problem for years. He is now seeing a urologist to rule out any medical problems. Most likely, he has ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder). His sister was diagnosed with ADD years ago and their father definitely has it. Many times when the parents have it, the children will have it too. Anyway. I did hear that possibly there is a relationship between ADHD and wetting pants. (Lack of attention to the fact that they need to go.) Possibly. I don't know.
My son wears pull-ups at night. I am more worried about the daytime right now because he is getting so old. It is embarrassing for him and kids are going to start making fun of him. Sometimes, he says he can go when he needs to and then other times, he says it just happens so fast. We have tried setting a timer so he will go every hour and that helps prevent most accidents, but that is a lot of work on our part! That can't be done all the time, though, like when he is in school. I'm not sure what to do.

I signed up for this site just for this posting.

Thanks! What a compliment. I appreciate your interest in this topic, and I hope its advice will help you.

He is now seeing a urologist to rule out any medical problems. Most likely, he has ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder). His sister was diagnosed with ADD years ago and their father definitely has it. Many times when the parents have it, the children will have it too. Anyway. I did hear that possibly there is a relationship between ADHD and wetting pants. (Lack of attention to the fact that they need to go.) Possibly. I don't know.

As I'm not a doctor, I can't say for sure either. But it sounds believable, doesn't it?

My son wears pull-ups at night.

Are his pull-ups wet in the morning? If not, it may be a daytime attention issue. He's just too preoccupied to remember to use the bathroom. For Dylan, it was that on top of his having too much fun too tear himself away to use the toilet.

If ADD or ADHD is a concern for you, I can say that the 7 year old we had was on Adderal and then Straterra. Neither seemed to make a difference with his bathroom habits. Of course every child is different and putting him on the meds made his life quite a bit better. He couldn't sit at the dinner table. He had to have one leg on the floor fully extended.

Are his pull-ups wet in the morning? If not, it may be a daytime attention issue. He's just too preoccupied to remember to use the bathroom. For Dylan, it was that on top of his having too much fun too tear himself away to use the toilet.

Most of the time, his pull-ups are wet in the morning, probably about 95% of the time. My mother told me that I shouldn't let him where pull-ups at night because I am sending mixed messages. Maybe, but it is so exhausting for me! If I take him to the bathroom before I go to bed, it's too early. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and I can take him, but sometimes I don't or I wake up after 4:00 a.m. and then it's too late. The only other thing I can do is set an alarm clock for 2:30-3:00 a.m. and get him up. (I'm not sure I want to do that! Ugh.) I try to limit the amount of fluids he drinks before he goes to bed.

He couldn't sit at the dinner table. He had to have one leg on the floor fully extended.

Haha! That comment made me laugh because my son cannot sit still at the dinner table. He takes a bit and then gets up and jumps all over the room. (I thought of tieing him to the chair - Just kidding.)

My sone wet his pants until he was in 6th grade. Even in school. Took him to the doctors, had many tests run and even surgery to enlarge the opening of his urethra. Had to keep a drychange of clothes at school but sometimes that was not enough. It was not until he was ready to go into 7th grade that he finally quit. I offered to buy him a new bed if he could stay dry for a month. From then on he stayed dry. He is now a well-adjusted, happily married young man with two children and a Phd. in math.
I will tell you that I dispaired of him ever staying dry but learned not to get on his case or take my frustrations out on him. I know that both my husband and I dispaired of him ever having dry pants but he finally did.
You have the advantage of having pull ups for older children. When my son had this problem everyone knew. His underpants, jeans, socks and tennis shoes were wet. If you wish to contact me you can get me at mjkflgstf@hotmail.com.

I can see that this is not an isolated incident, but a real issue affecting lots of people. Are we forming a support group?

Seems like it should be a support group. I raised two healthy children who are grown as my husbands other two children are also adults and now we recently received my husbuands son who is 7. He continues to pee and soil his pants during the day but does not have accidents at night. We are about to resort to the pullups due to the fact both of us work and daycares do not take kindly to children of this age who do not use the bathroom. It is a bio hazard to other children regardless how clean any child is. I am sure part of it is seperation anxiety except we learned from his former teachers he was doing it while with his mom as well. HELP! We are going nuts.

daycares do not take kindly to children of this age who do not use the bathroom. It is a bio hazard to other children regardless how clean any child is.

I can imagine, that would drive me nuts.

Usually with my son we find he's gone while walking home from school, or been in a situation where he's not felt "able" to excuse himself to use the bathroom.

BTW, it's still happening. He hasn't had wet underwear for only a week now. And he'll be eight years old next month. This is getting ridiculous.

My brother has a similar problem, but for him it was only at night. It was happening almost every night up through middle school. He's 17 now, and it very rarely happens now. He has had development issues since he was born. They thought he had ADD or ADHD and put him on just about every drug ever created, and nothing helped. Eventually they decided he had a brain chemical deficiency and with this particular instance there is not drug to take. Since coming off of all the medications he has gotten a lot better, in both his actions and emotions.

As for your particular case, I would follow LW's advice. Make sure there isn't any physical problems, then move to a psychologist or something. It could be an emotional problem, like wanting more attention, or it could be a chemical imbalance of the brain like my brother's situation.

What is very interesting...

This has become my number one article, with 26 referrals!

Amazing that this problem is so prevalent that search engines as far away as Norway are looking for solutions to this problem.

We have seen many specialists and have been told nothing is wrong (other than he has a lot of accidents). Duh. We make our son clean up after himself after he has pee accident. There has to be consequences to learn.

The bad parents we are, we did get special reusable underwear where you insert a disposable pad into ("Poise pad"). It looks just like underwear and keeps accidents contained but is not comfortable when wet. Regardless of the cause, may he be lazy or not responsible, his accidents were hurt his ability to socialize with his peers. These special pants have helped contain his problem so his peers are less aware.

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