Education is never a waste, no matter the level.  Moms who choose to be home, more power to them and that is always best for their children. 

wow--haven't heard those sentiments voiced in a long time.  Hats off to you taltamir.  Of course you realize that the implications are far reaching.

I have a masters in counseling and am a stay at home mom.  I am in the process of raising 6 children, the 4 youngest are adopted.  When people ask what I do, I always joke that I am retired as I retired my private practice 12 years ago to raise the kids.

Truthfully, raising my children has been the most challenging thing I have ever done.  My young ones came with life long issues that we have needed to face as a family.  It has required me to learn inovative parenting skills, parent and family advocate skills, how to manage myself in very difficult circumstance and how to keep from burning out over the long haul.  In order to provide for my kids needs, I have learned how to run and manage our farm, have become an excellant horse woman, all to teach them in an environment where they can thrive.  My skills in conflict resolution and communication have increase exponentially and I have read volumes on child development, bonding and attachment. 

Honestly, pursuing my career would have been much easier because the demand placed on me by my family (by the way I have an excellent husband) has required not only further study/learning but also personal growth that an occupation would not have.

I guess what I am saying is that, parenting and education, are not mutually exclusive.  I have easily gotten as much education in the raising of my kids as I did in school AND I have grown tremendously as a person.  So, parenting, for me, has been continuing education.

joa

By this nit-wit's thinking I guess I am wasting my education as well since I choose to work driving a truck instead of working as an engineer. I don't consider my education a waste at all nor is his daughters'.  Barring some sort of brain damage, education is one thing that can't be taken away from you and is never a waste.

In my opinion education isn't as much about learning certain subjects but rather learning how to learn, how to think critically, and how to find information when you need it. Those are valuable skills regardless of your occupation, vocation, or choice to stay ay home and do the very important job of raising your children and running a household.

I don't think that education is ever wasted.  However, I think this statement is quite bold and not always true:

I've done both.  I worked.  I then stayed home for 8 months, and then I went back to work.  Having two full time working adults while raising a child (we have only one due to the fact that we both work) is not a cake walk.  When I stayed home, I could grocery shop in the day, clean house, do laundry and do all the other things that you can do when you are home.  Now that I work full time outside the home, when I return from work, guess what?  I'm still "Mom".  I still take care of my daughter, cook, clean, grocery shop, etc, but I have to do it in the few hours that I have left in the day or weekend.  I no longer can get everything done during the week so that we can just enjoy the weekends.  Your work doesn't go away at home just because you're not there

So, to say that staying home is 4 times harder is really not always the case.  I chose to return to work, but it definitely wasn't because it was easier than staying home.  Now, if my daughter was special needs or I had 4 or 5 kids, then the work increases.  If I had an easier job, that would change the scales, too.  So, that blanket statement just doesn't fit.  Saying that it is equal would be more accurate in my view.

As parents, education is never wasted.  The more you are educated, the better you can help your kids learn.  And, kids are only kids for 18 years.  They eventually go to college and need tuition.  Having an education so that you can return to the work force and help them financially is also a good thing.

LOL, Karma!  I was thinking...I *still* have to catch up on the weekends!  Being a parent really is a never-ending job because the messes always pile up, clothes are being worn, dishes used, food eaten up and dropped, etc, etc, 24/7. 

We chose for me to stay at home because it was very stressful to have both of us working.  We weren't able to spend adequate time with the children and family time was suffering.  We were both in college full time and working full time (at one point I had 3 PT jobs, two of which were borderline full time, and then later I had a full time that I killed myself to do well at). 

For me, staying home is easier.  Some women work in environments where they take lunches with friends and have periods of the day where they have little stress and little activity/responsibility.  THAT might be easier, but I never had one of those jobs, LOL. 

The thing is, I have freedom to shedule my days as I please, and I have the added joy of neat daily experiences with my children, which makes it easier to deal with being with them all the freaking time, LOL.  I get to do crafts and call it work.  Staying at home is not effortless, but for moms who are geared for it, it's really a labor of love and way easier than facing day after day in the grind of a career.

I do have a little part-time work at home thing I do that I enjoy because it gives me some more structured things to work on and makes me feel productive (earning money always feels good), but I'm not under the impression that one or the other is more difficult or demanding (working outside the home v. staying home with the children)...the challenges are just different.

Really?  If I don't have kids, I've wasted my entire life?

Why is it necessary to belittle the choices of others to make yourself feel better about your own choices?  Isn't it about time that we respect that everyone has different goals and dreams and therefore chooses to live their lifes differently.  Are you telling me that if you don't have offspring, your life isn't worth living?  Geez, I hope it isn't as drastic as that.

I think that people need to do what works best for their life and their situation -- sometimes it's being a stay at home parent, sometimes it's working outside the home -- there is a value in both.

I like how our society is geared towards a mother being the only one who could possibly stay at home with the kids

That college education isn't wasted if the husband doesn't mind doing the kid-watching and the wife really wants a career.

Now, to find a wife who wants a career so I can watch munchkins all day

Karma . . for a small fee I can muck out the barn. 

It's not, but once you have kids, you see your own life before that as kind of pointless. But you don't really see other people's lives like that.

Exactly.

The worst mistake men ever made was to allow women to join them in the workplace.

We should have handed it over to them completely!

I know several women who work while their husband is a stay at home dad .

And yes if you choose not to have kids your life is wasted. ANY living organism, by the very definition of life, must reproduce to leave something behind. Since eventually we all die.

I haven't had any kids yet, but I am well aware of the need to have them.

I think it is just biological.  After all,t he wife has to carry the child to term, so she has to take some time off.  Taht she then stays at home is just an extension.

As for your search - sorry, the one that I know (it is rare after all), the husband and wife are happily married and raising 2 children - he is the stay at home.  But if I find one, I will send them your name.

Take everyone's favourite modern saint/beatified one, Mother Teresa. She never had any children. But to say that her life was meaningless, that she left nothing behind, is to ignore everything that is important about humans in favour of something that is an utter triviality. Children can be a legacy, true, but they are not always the most important legacy or the most widespread. Had she had kids, would that have overshadowed her selfless work for the dignity of the dying? I don't think so. Some things affect more than just your family - they change a community, a city, a nation or the world. These actions are no less lasting than a child, who after all could sicken and die at any moment. Ideas are harder to kill.

More closely on topic...

My mum stayed at home, and she had a degree in teaching. It did not go to waste, and I doubt it would have even if it was in something specific like the geological properties of moon rocks or something. The love of learning is one of the greatest gifts a parent can give their child, and while it doesn't always come with an education, if an education is the price paid to gain it I would never consider that a waste.

Now there's an enlightened and intelligent viewpoint. So if, say, a person spent their life working in the medical field, saved countless lives, discovered a cure for cancer as well as the common cold, their life would have been wasted if they never had children? I would think not. As sentient beings simplistic biological measures are not enough as they fail to take into account the lasting contributions of the mind which can be far greater than simply reproducing.

When men start breastfeeding, we'll probably see a rise in the numbers of SAHDs...