My kid can't handle middle school.
I'm going to be honest with you guys and do something I've frequently hesitated to do: reveal a real, ongoing problem at home.
My son failed four classes last semester with no relief in sight.
Our oldest son, Ben, was in a charter school that focused on math, science, and technology. A perfect fit for our really bright son, we thought. But since his sixth grade year (he's halfway through 7th grade now), they've sent home hours and hours of homework in addition to the intense class work. And he couldn't keep up. He has four Fs on his latest report card, including a grade of 12% in Physics and a 58% in Algebra. Up till 11 PM every night for all the homework. Required science fair projects with no let-up in the workload in order to get him ready for it -- he still had four hours of homework a night with a teacher-approved (read: "ambitious") science fair project due. He had eleven classes -- for a college student that's unrealistic, but for a 7th grader that's impossible. He'd come home not understanding the lectures or even how to do his homework. Everything in our evenings got pushed forcibly to the side so I could tutor Ben in algebra, social studies, physics, Spanish, etc.
In fact, he got so overwhelmed by schoolwork that he'd become very introverted and sullen, mopy... in other words, clinically depressed. This afternoon we have our fourth appointment with a therapist to help him through this. But in the meantime, that school and its hard-ass work ethic had to go.
We've tried to work with the school, but since it's a charter school in its third year of operation it lacks the support staff we need. He'ss depressed but they have no counselors. He's failing classes, but they lack the teachers to allow kids to have more flexibility in their scheduling -- the principal explained to me that they're not able to reararnge his classes to accomodate being yanked from his Physics class without totally changing everything around -- something the school told me they don't want to do. Ben's algebra and physics teacher didn't want to see Ben go -- their argument was that Ben'd never get into good schools without advanced classes. My response? He's not going to get into any schools at all if he keeps getting Ds and Fs.
He's been yanked from his school by us for bad grades and put into an easier (read, "public") school. I know that sounds like a no-brainer, but we were very reluctant to pull him. First complaint: what kind of lesson does that teach him? If you can't handle it, your parents will ride to your rescue? Whatever happened to good ol' bootstrap-pulling, work harder till you get it? Second complaint: we're planning on moving this summer anyway, so he'll be in three schools in the course of three consecutive semesters.
That's life in the singrdave household. Hopefully things will improve as Ben settles into his new routine. The therapy sessions have helped, I think -- our therapist is very good and she specializes in transition to new things. I guess what I'm looking for is reassurance that by taking him out of the high-stress school that we chose right. And that this is going to have a happy ending.