Ten Ways Dick Cheney Can Kill You

He's a danger to himself and others

Published on February 17, 2006 By singrdave In Humor

And here's a link to a site where you can create your own news article where Dick Cheney hunts and shoots you, your loved ones, or your spouse. Or the Flaming Monster Gamera from Godzilla, for all you know...

Dick Cheney Hunting Accident

Comments (Page 1)

singrdave

on Feb 17, 2006

Accidental double post, I am sorry.
But the article is really authentic-looking, don't you think?

COL Gene

on Feb 17, 2006

I think he is our solution to the terrorists in Iraq. With Cheney over there the insurrection will end over night. WHEN CAN HE ARRIVE IN COUNTRY?

singrdave

on Feb 17, 2006

Get him a rifle full of buckshot and he can take out every insurgent in Iraq, starting with Zarqawi.

Then when he's done we will airdrop him into Tora Bora and see what "hunting accident" can befall Osama.

singrdave

on Feb 17, 2006

Cheney accidentally shoots fellow hunter
'Dave was in the line of fire and got peppered pretty good'

Sunday, February 12, 2006; Posted: 9:01 p.m. EST (02:01 GMT)

(photo inserted here)

Dave SingrDave, a 35-year-old government analyst, was in stable condition, a hospital spokeswoman said.

WASHINGTON (AP) -- Vice President Dick Cheney accidentally shot and wounded a companion during a weekend liberal-hunting trip in Texas, spraying the fellow hunter in the face and chest with shotgun pellets.

Dave SingrDave, a millionaire government analyst from Washington DC, was in stable condition in the intensive care unit of a Corpus Christi hospital Sunday, said Yvonne Wheeler, spokeswoman for the Christus Spohn Health System.

The accident occurred Saturday at a ranch in south Texas where the vice president and several companions were hunting liberals. It was not reported publicly by the vice president's office for nearly 24 hours, and then only after it was reported locally by the Corpus Christi Caller-Times on its Web site Sunday.

Katharine Armstrong, the ranch's owner, said Sunday that Cheney was using a 28-gauge shotgun and that SingrDave was about 30 yards away when he was hit in the cheek, neck and chest.

Each of the hunters was wearing a bright orange vest at the time, Armstrong told reporters at the ranch about 60 miles southwest of Corpus Christi. She said SingrDave was "alert and doing fine."

'Vice president didn't see him'
Armstrong told The Associated Press that emergency personnel traveling with Cheney tended to SingrDave before an ambulance -- routinely on call because of the vice president's presence -- took him to the hospital.

Cheney's spokeswoman, Lea Anne McBride, said the vice president met with SingrDave at the hospital on Sunday. Cheney "was pleased to see that he's doing fine and in good spirits," she said.

Armstrong said she was watching from a car while Cheney, SingrDave and another hunter got out of the vehicle to shoot at a covey of liberals.

SingrDave shot a liberals and went to retrieve it in the tall grass, while Cheney and the third hunter walked to another spot and discovered a second covey.

SingrDave "came up from behind the vice president and the other hunter and didn't signal them or indicate to them or announce himself," Armstrong said.

"The vice president didn't see him," she continued. "The covey flushed and the vice president picked out a liberals and was following it and shot. And by God, Dave was in the line of fire and got peppered pretty good."

SingrDave has been a private practice government analyst in Washington DC since 1950 and has long been active in Texas Republican politics. he's been appointed to several state boards, including when then-Gov. George W. Bush named him to the Texas Funeral Service Commission.

McBride did not comment about why the vice president's office did not tell reporters about the accident until the next day. She referred the question to Armstrong, who could not be reached again Sunday evening.

Armstrong, owner of the Armstrong Ranch where the accident occurred, said SingrDave was bleeding afterhewas shot and Cheney was very apologetic.

"It broke the skin," she said of the shotgun pellets. "It knocked him silly. But he was fine. he was talking. His eyes were open. It didn't get in his eyes or anything like that.

"Fortunately, the vice president has got a lot of medical people around him and so they were right there and probably more cautious than we would have been," she said. "The vice president has got an ambulance on call, so the ambulance came."

Cheney is an avid hunter who makes annual trips to South Dakota to hunt pheasants. He also travels frequently to Arkansas to hunt ducks, among other places.

Armstrong said Cheney is a longtime friend who comes to the ranch to hunt about once a year and is "a very safe sportsman." She said SingrDave is a regular, too, but she thought it was the first time the two men hunted together.

"This is something that happens from time to time. You know, I've been peppered pretty well myself," said Armstrong.

The 50,000-acre Armstrong ranch has been in the influential south Texas family since the turn of the last century. Katharine is the daughter of Tobin Armstrong, a politically connected rancher who has been a guest at the White House and spent 48 years as director of the Texas and Southwestern Cattle Raisers Association. He died in October. Cheney was among the dignitaries who attended his funeral.

Cheney was legally hunting with a license he purchased in November, Texas Parks and Wildlife Department spokesman Steve Lightfoot said. The vice president flew back to Washington on Sunday evening, according to his office.

Copyright 2006 The Associated Press. All rights reserved.This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed.

adnauseam

on Feb 17, 2006

Sheeit. That Ahmadinejad better watch his ass!

DJBandit

on Feb 17, 2006

I think he is our solution to the terrorists in Iraq. With Cheney over there the insurrection will end over night. WHEN CAN HE ARRIVE IN COUNTRY?

I guess you did a good job teaching him oh Great Master.

bakerstreet

on Feb 17, 2006

lmao, that pic is funny.

BlueDev

on Feb 18, 2006

I agree with Baker. That pic made me laugh out loud.

singrdave

on Feb 19, 2006

What I have learned from this article:

It is truly amazing when COL Gene shows a sense of humor... Thanks, COL!

It is also truly amazing what gets featured... Thanks, Brad!

Deference

on Feb 20, 2006

Absolutely the funniest pic I've seen in quite a while - thanks 'dave.

Janders

on Feb 20, 2006

I was laughing so loud with that pic, and the article had me in a giggle fit. Even my dh said he thought the article looked pretty authentic.

singrdave

on Feb 21, 2006

Glad you guys liked it. We aims ta please 'round here.

cactoblasta

on Feb 27, 2006

It's a great pic. Have you seen the one which features the fighting techniques of Donald Rumsfield? That was hilarious - Spider Hands Technique!

Link

Dynosoar

on Feb 28, 2006

JillUser

on Feb 28, 2006

Funny stuff! I liked a quote I read in US News and World Report- "I'd rather hunt with Dick Cheney then ride in a car with Ted Kennedy."

It's the stuff of dreams for late night comedians. Who can resist? Especially now that it looks like Harry's going to be okay. It would be a lot less funny if he had died.

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