An email this morning from a friend of mine from high school brought up a very interesting question. Background: she and I dated for a little while in high school, but broke up after about six months. Time passed and we stayed in touch, off and on. After a failed marriage and four kids, she came out of the closet and is now in a committed relationship with a woman.
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You know I have always been straight forward, so I seriously have a question. How can YOU be so strong against gay marriage? You have so many friends over the years that have been gay. I am not angry, just interested that you support your friends being happy as long as they don't receive the same rights you do?
Sorry you know I am straight forward and am really interested in your viewpoint. Not trying to offend...
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Yes, you have always tended to be pretty forthright, and I'm not offended at all. This is a really good question, and one I made without really examining or trying to put my opinions into print. Let me see if I can get my thoughts together in a way that makes sense to you, as well as myself...
I don't have a problem with people who are gay. Just don't approve of the practice of homosexuality. You're right: I have several friends who are gay, in relationships, even one who's transgendered (male to female). I was even college roommates with a guy who later came out of the closet. I have worked with homosexuals of either gender -- more so in the military, go figure. While I try not to pigeonhole people, I have no problems with gay people. There's little (if any) difference between a homosexual and a heterosexual, except for the company they keep.
Here's an analogy: when I was in the Army, I supervised a great group of people who liked each other so much that they consistently got together after work to party together... just because I didn't go get drunk with them doesn't mean I couldn't work with them. While I didn't approve of their behavior and certainly wasn't going to join into the "fun", what they did on their own time was their own business. As long as their extra-work activities didn't affect their work performance and my expectations of them as their sergeant, then what they did on their own time was no big deal.
I think it's similar with homosexuality. What you do after hours is your own business. And here I paraphrase the mighty Jon Stewart: as long as "they" don't force me to make sweet man love, then what is the big deal?
Now for the more controversial part: I have always felt that marriage is a religious institution as well as a civil one. The civil and legal rights given through marriage (rights of survivorship, health benefits, etc.) are very important to uphold. I have always been supportive of same-sex benefits as far as the workplace goes. But I ascribe a lot of religious significance to the word "marriage" and seeing as how active homosexual relationships are against my religion I can't in good conscience approve of gay marriage.
As I said before, I have no problem with the civil unions, domestic partnerships, or any of the other-named legal and civil agreements (of which marriage is one) but I'd really rather not see marriage as a religious institution become something incompatible with my religious beliefs.